RULE OF PARENTING #44: Thou Shall Not Yell: 6 Useful Ways to Practice Calm Parenting Today

Relax … Zen … It’s OK

Rules Of Parenting - # - Mother Kids Doing HomeworkParenting is challenging. That is a given. Unless you have an extremely nice child, you are prone to breakdowns characterized by yelling matches, threats and sometimes spanking. This is the reality in most families yet such reactions only fuel the chaos, stress and uncooperativeness in a household. Loving parents can make a choice to practice calm parenting today.

Here as some tips to get you started:

1. Understand Your Stress Triggers

Often parents react without thinking and later regret their action. What causes you to lose it and to start yelling at your children or to act from anger? By being aware of these triggers, you will be aware of your reaction every time. List down some of the behaviours that irk you out. Then reflect on how you usually react to these behaviours. Is there a more rational, levelheaded way to deal with a child who will not listen, or speak to a child who talks back at you? Most likely, there is. If you take the time to evaluate the behaviors that trigger your anger, to assess your usual reaction and outcomes, you can start to find more effective ways to deal with these behaviours.

2. Take a Larger Perspective

Will it matter one week, two months, a year from now? If not, just let that irking behaviour slip. A great way to exasperate yourself into a breakdown is wanting to correct and reprimand each behaviour, which can be a vain endeavour. Kids are kids and they will do so many annoying or silly things on any given day.  You are bound to be a yelling and stressed parent if you are too keen on every behaviour. If it is something that really does not place your child or anyone else at risk, watch it go.


3. Work Hand in Hand With Your Partner

Parents can feel angry and overwhelmed and they tend to unleash these emotions on their children when they lack support from their spouse. It is important for mom and dad to really support each other in raising their children so that no one takes the pressure more than the other does. Happy parents equal happy children.


4. Take Up Anger and Stress Management Practices

Learn how to take timeout yourself.  When you feel like yelling at your child or spanking her, walk away from the situation until you feel calm enough to deal with it. You can also practice how to breathe and to use self-talk to calm yourself down before reacting to your child’s behaviour. It is also a good idea to make use of stress relieving techniques such as meditation and yoga to make calmness part of your lifestyle.


5. Detach From the Vicious Cycle

Do not indulge your child’s drama. Learn how to detach yourself from his behaviour especially when you can see that he wants to provoke you or engage in a fight. Sometimes, it is best to stay quiet or to walk away from the drama instead of reacting to it, because you are likelier to react from anger and frustration if you dont. Such reaction only serves to fan the tantrum or rebellion flames.


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